To live a fulfilled life we have identified 8 areas that need attention in equal measure. These areas of focus are:
- Family and friends
- Contribution and good giving
- Life partner
- Work and enterprise
- Fitness and health
- Aspirations and purpose
Olivia has a very close relationship with her family. She sees this as central to her life; to be protected and nurtured, building on the values of her parents.
Olivia to keep the lines of communication open. Cherish her father and include him in her future. Enjoy the times when she is happiest. To treasure her mother’s memory. Acknowldge the strong moral compass she has gifted to all the siblings
Lessons learned: Never go to bed on a bad word
A close knit group of girlfriends all contribute to Olivia in different ways. Sometimes they can be disappointing and she felt let down.
The Key: Not to judge friends by your own standards as they are sure to fail. Let go of friends that are negative, they will suck you dry. Spend precious time with those who’s friendship is valued.
Olivia’s friends would benefit from being guided as to her personal values. She needs to amplify these in the way she conducts herself.
Love and kindness are things Olivia values most. Religion is important but she hasn’t found a Church she truly feels at home in. She is pulled in all directions which makes life very chaotic with no time for herself. Olivia’s body language gives her away. Always fidgeting and flickering eye contact. We spoke about a need to become calm, to sit, reduce heart rate and to become mindful.
The Key: Olivia to make time outside of her family and business to discover and understand the benefit of recognizing her spiritual self. Spirituality is about seeking a meaningful connection with something bigger than you. It does not always include religion.
Lessons learned: This is unfamiliar territory for Olivia and will result in positive emotions of peace, a sense of awe, contentment, gratitude and acceptance. She recognized the need to make time regularly if not frequently.
Contribution and giving
Olivia is the first to say and acknowledge she is from a privileged background. She makes a difference through supporting various charities. Her best assets are networking with people, drumming up friendships which releases endorphins when she has been able to bring people together to support her good causes. In addition, ‘changing one life at a time’ has true meaning for her.
The key: Don’t say yes to everything. Olivia needs to choose her causes and explain why they mean so much. To save her energy and time supporting causes where she can see her personal contribution has made a real difference using her skills and connections
Lessons learned: Olivia needs to redefine what her contribution and giving looks like. To understand where she can make the biggest impact. Be focused. She is a leader in more ways than one.
Olivia’s husband shares her family values. Both move in privileged circles and have extended family members from a previous divorce. They respect each other and their individual work, interests and social commitments. They don’t live in each other’s pockets. There is no competition between them. They stand shoulder to shoulder which amplifies their strong relationship.
The Key: They never go to bed on a bad word. Making time for each other and being a couple is understood to be essential in having a strong marriage.
Lessons learned: It is important to listen and validate each other’s emotions and experiences. This way, they can bring their best selves to the marriage. Olivia remarked on her parents’ strength through adversity coupled with having dreams and working hard. This has brought good fortune and sustainable love. The bedrock of a successful marriage is trust and Olivia and her husband have this in spades.
Work and enterprise
Olivia is hugely respected in business and the local community where the family have standing. She has excelled in her academic and professional qualifications. Work experience outside of the family business for 7 years meant she could return to the family business with confidence and bring new ideas and ways of doing things. She has identified her strengths which are an asset in a very male orientated sector of industry. However, she remains haunted by ‘imposter syndrome’ which is reinforced on a daily basis by her male counterparts. This is not overt, rather quietly percolating. She loves her work and wants to leave a personal legacy as a result of her contribution to the family enterprise. She has a perception that she is not an entrepreneur which is unfounded. We reframed this as Olivia being an ‘intrapreneur’ which resonated with her. The big decisions about the business are made by the team. She finds difficulty in removing her personal, emotional self when having to make employees redundant or reprimanding senior management.
The Key: Olivia needs to work on and rid herself of her ‘imposter syndrome’. To remind herself she is an equal. To remain true to herself and her gender. A good way is to use her platform as a female leader at events and in the media. Also to mentor more women in her sector.
Lessons learned: Being a woman, leader, mentor and intrapreneur are Olivia’s calling by admission. It is right to think and work like a woman and not ‘like a man’. She brings something unique and special to the party. Indeed modern younger leaders respect her for it.
She quips “business is like buying high healed shoes – by cheap, buy twice’! Brilliant.
Olivia has none.
The Key: Olivia needs to understand that life is not only about work and family. A hobby or interest will underpin why you do what you do and for who. As she grows older into new life phases, she will be able to let go and enjoy the possibilities outside in the bigger world. She will find things in life that will give her as much pleasure as working.
Lessons learned: We are only on this earth for a limited time. Life is a gift that has to be explored in all of its hugeness. Appreciation of life and the world is the biggest gift of all.
Fitness & health
This is not a regular or frequent commitment by Olivia, despite knowing it is essential for mental and physical health. As part of her lifestyle it will give her:
– Mental and physical benefits.
The key: Embark on a ‘try it and see’ strategy. Using Olivia’s PA to find places and activities in her locality. These could include: the gym, swimming, running, aerobics, kick-boxing, fencing, horse riding etc and in any combination. Olivia to make ‘her time’ by taking a half day each week out of the business and to let the team know. They will step up to the plate. Empowering the team is essential in leadership.
Lessons learned: You look after everyone, the questions is, who looks after you? Happy healthy and wise is better than being stressed, overwhelmed and always ‘on’. Olivia admits she is in danger of running out of battery. That an integrated work, life, health and fitness balance is the best policy. It’s a no brainer.
Aspirations & purpose
Having personal aspirations will contribute immensely to Olivia developing as a person and towards becoming who she wants to be. It will take her out of her comfort zone, increase her confidence and boost self awareness. This is not an event, but necessitates time, self study and education. It does not have a price and has no structure. It is unmeasurable; a state of mind. Aspiration is an ambition of achieving something.
The purpose of life is to question it. For Olivia it is driven by her own abilities in which she can affect society and make a difference. She will need to practice getting to know herself, her emotions and what brings her joy. Question purpose and put structure to it. Building on the family legacy is one thing. Building your own personal legacy is another. She will need to decide who she wants to serve beyond herself.
The key: Dare to dream. Don’t wait for permission
Lessons learned: Life is too short to stuff a mushroom. There is no need to wait. Think it and it will happen
Think like a woman – Mary Portas
Let IT go – Dame Stephanie Shirley
Business is Personal – Penny Power OBE
Becoming – Michelle Obama
My Story – Jo Malone OBE
Why brands with purpose do better and matter more – David Hieatt
Wild Swans – Jung Chang
Olivia is an incredible woman with so much more potential than she can ever imagine for herself. Take a deep breath and jump right in!